Entry 8: Pure in Heart

February 22, 2008

Pure in Heart

When I was growing up, today was Washington's birthday. With President's Day, this has all changed. Of course, George Washington wasn't born on February 22 anyway. He was born on February 11. He was born before the Gregorian calendar was introduced and everything got moved 11 days later. This accounts for some of the confusion surrounding the October revolution in Russia in the early part of the 20th century. They were still on the Julian calendar which loses time badly.
This has nothing to do with my spiritual journal for Lent. It does tell you a little about how my mind works. I get to thinking about this and find myself looking up dates and conversion factors and such and it is lunchtime before I finish. People say I'm knowledgeable about things. Yes, I am, but it comes at a cost.

I've been thinking also how compartmentalized I am. I separate God out from the rest of my life. Jesus has his sphere, but connecting him to the rest of my life is extremely difficult.
For example: I went for my last treatment on Wednesday. The muscle is better than it was when I started the first of the year, but it is, according to the nurse, a work in progress. I can come back in six months to be re-evaluated. Keep doing the exercises. Since I won't be monitored, I won't know if the muscle is in spasm and if I should cut back or increase my exercise. Of course, I won't be able to truly ascertain the benefit of doing all this until I can take long walks.
All of this is in the medical realm of doctors and nurses, computer printouts and probes. There doesn't seem much room for God here.

I know that God is everywhere. That's not my point. Jesus becomes a given in my universe, not personal in any way.

I distinctly remember a professor of mine raving against feeling God's presence. It wasn't what we could feel that mattered. It is what Christ does for us that matters.
Over time, I have come to disagree with this professor. I think it is important for knowledge to exist, to count on such knowledge in times of despair, melancholy and stress. However, such knowledge is not relationship-based and I have come to think that I am called into a personal relationship with Jesus. I'm not particularly good at relationships. So I can go about doing what I'm doing and leave Jesus out of it.

Yet I sat at the healing service Thursday morning and the phrase "Create in me a clean heart," came into my mind and with it, "Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God." This has become my favorite of all the Beatitudes. I still hunger and thirst for righteousness, but I long to be pure in heart in order to see God. 'm still wondering what needs to be scrubbed clean in my heart in order for it to be pure.